Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
