are you still at the devil's house?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
