i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
