I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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