you win again, gameday.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
