I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
why is half of my head shaved?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
