I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
