24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
