You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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