Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Randomize
