i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
third nipple confirmed
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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