Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
