Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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