Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
