then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
