We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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