The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Randomize
