At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
