I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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