she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
