then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
