You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Im part way to drunk.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
