Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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