Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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