speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
