I wanna bring you to show and tell
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize