3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I AM VODKA MAN
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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