You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
