There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
