girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
