I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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