i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
