plz talk dirty to me
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
