Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
