therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize