Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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