Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
