why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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