There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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