Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
