dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
