I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
