Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
