Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
