the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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