I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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