Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
