my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
