I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
