Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
